


hisoka beats u

by eat_my_dust



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Crack, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Other, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:41:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 1,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25769110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eat_my_dust/pseuds/eat_my_dust
Summary: exactly what the title says
Comments: 6
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter 1

hisoka walked up to ur crusty ass😻😻, slammed his foot on it as it jiggled, moaning ur name then repeatedly ripped his tongue out and threw it at ur hair eating it all up...

scary..

hisoka then popped a massive boner😖 and a light radiating out of it blinded you, making you tear up and tremble. "hisoka srnpi.... im too crunchy.." he put his finger over ur crusty lips and said "SHHHHH are u lost babyGRL...?♦" HE THEN peed on u through his pants and ripped his pants off his big fat cock slapped u in the face knocking u into reality😈.

hisoka was getting fucked by onions with lips and he then ripped ur nose off and ate it and turned into naked thanos. ✌️😔

he then crushed ur lungs and then u died. ...💀⚰️


	2. hisoka is watching u

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> he sees all

after hisoka had crushed ur lungs, you woke up in a leaf bed covered by skinless babies. you peed ur pants and cried wondering why there were skinless gacha kids next 2 u. 😱

u heard grass being stepped on by a 200 pound man, but he was...tall..😈 it was hisoka!!11!!😱😱 u screamed at him and blushed saying,"srnpi..... don't cum closr...plzz........🤢" u threw up in ur mouth since he had a pet pterodactyl on a leash.

he thrwed a jar full of red substance at ur ugly face 🤤.. it was ur spit after ur mom chewed up apples ...just the skin😈

he said,"these are for u....i love watching u puch ur justin Bieber wall..😻" his voice was like so high he sounded like Alvin from Alvin and the chipmunks..

ooh....g....

u sucked up the courage and kicked him in the man tit so hard it shows that he is wearing...his Mickey mouse onesiele...🤗

he moaned and grabbed ur ankle and twisted it then ran off into the forest..

"WHORESOKA WAIT!!1😱🤤"..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more coming...(ʘᴗʘ✿)


	3. omg...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> baby kata..

aftrrr whorrsoka✨ left into the wood, u started sweeating so much that u looked like a greasy monkey🤢🤢 hiding in the shadows waiting to strike..😱😱😱😱😱

u ran after him shouting for him 2 wait..he ded not lesten😢😢

U heard footsteps behind u CRUSHING the sticks...omg....who could it be .....👀👀👁️👄👁️

it..was...  
✌️😔

baby kata!!??1?1?1?!1?1!1?1?2!😱😱😱

o em gee.....

u scram and ran to lake where it was fill with blood...  
whoresokas care ear blood....😈😈😈😈😈

eat will haoene next..


	4. diper time..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ....diper man..

baby katah was getinf closer...with each step u heard heavy breathing as a lullaby started playing, faintly...

u heard him whispering something but couldn't make it out....omg..😱😱

u went into the blood filled lake, almost peeing urself from the smell..yack.. omg it mysteriously turned into the yar 0001.. hisoka and baby kata were still here so do not fret..

but omg ...dinosaurs and huge CENTIPEDES?1?1?1?1?1? U SCEEAMED AT TIP OF LUNG AND J HAD LUNG CANCER CUZ U WERE SMOKING HISOKAS MOUSTACHE..🤤🤤

HUFE CENTIPEDE SWALLOWRD U BUT U AR AIVE?1?1??1


	5. um..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i forgot where I was

ok so u were in huge cateepeeraler.. u beat it from the inside..no lack....😱😱😱😱😱😱 "aaahhhh!!!11!1!" u hollered, suddenly ugly dwarf elf man with thick Roblox block legs walked out.

he hummed and then crushed u with his massive foot  
.  
to test u..  
to see if u are live..

omg. u did!!?1!?1?1!1?1!   
he laughed and rubbed his cut, busted open chin on ur kneecap, smirking 😎😎😏.

he then ate ur eyeball and spit it out..

u said,"wat are u want 4rom MEP..????" he ten said,"follooow mere...if u want to recapd..."

u followed and then we entered the stomach part of the centipede it was so long and skinny u saw Nicholas cage in there...in a literal cage.😱😱.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wat will hapen next😏😏✌️😔🤢


	6. nicholas's story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> he tells u his story about how he got in here ...

after u saw Nicholas cage he reached out of the cage and twisted and morphed his body so he could escape the cage, his bones were creaky and rattling nonstop, as his grin grew wider with each twist..😱😱

oh em gee..!!!!🤤😱😱💀⚰️

he..stared at u.. and didn't stop staring as he morphed more into a human shape.

he then said, his voice as raspy as ever,"why hello there yee young lad." u just sighed and stood there, arms crossed.🤢 "wat do u want ugly nicholas cage. ur stupid dopplganger is voring everyone in town. hury ur ass up and fix it."😤😤

"now now young lad, calm yee horses." he pat ur head with his long, crusty, yellow fingernail. u slapped his hand away.

"let me tell u my story youngin.." he slowly started getting louder with each syllable coming out of his mouth.

"it all started in 0000, exactly one year ago.. i was hunting the woods for my lady and then it came.... the xateerppelia was peeing on me... and the substance froze me... and I got aten.."💀💀😱😱😱😱


	7. apology

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ,...

i am sory for being unfuny... i wil make this story funier............................................................................,,,,,, i felt i noeded to write a whole hcapeter....for this apolgoiy.... and not a note........because i am stupid.................................and only used to wattapad.......................................

i m ory.... for playing sadp iano muisic eejh doid nto mean it :(((O 

i am goign to cancel myl ife subscription if this does not become funy storiee...

grr... L:(


	8. ooh ....szz..z.z..z

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the link is literally the next part of the story

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzDB3OvKaY0

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry i had to make the video. i coudlnt help it


	9. ahh😣

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> eek!~💆💆

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> school starts in 2 days so ill try to write an extra long chapter to make up

after u saw hsok dance to hr FAVORITE llulby u peed ur SF. then, u said,"eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekk!!!!!!!!!!!😣😣💆" and then brokeb drem boivleord plauded......  
grrr...

u danced the penguin club dance with mickey mouse and nicholas cage and hooskna and everhone including the sex slaves from the sex dungeon in hell..🤗😎 it was so hot they were on fire!!!!!!!!!!!☠️

uput on ur rad shades and grabbed ur skateboard using their bodies as the ramps go skate on. u were so cool as hot cross buns played in the baxkground. barney then came out and licked ur eyes. killing the hydration for then. boo hoo 😞😞😞

when u cries u couldn't cry because ur family died from lack of toes. u were gonna be next....🤔🤔 u had war flashbacks od giant xterpliar and pissed in a skull.

AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!1!11!!1!1!2(}9$9_*/)#9#)👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹

if was so sad..

tbc...👹

**Author's Note:**

> im so sorry I did this, I want to stab my eyes


End file.
